I'm nothing without you God...

2011-11-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

2011-11-24T11:06:00.001-08:00

2011-10-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

Disheartened...God...pls fill me. Help me look to you and not to anyone else.

2011-09-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm learning to run.

I'm learning to slow.

I'm learning to oppose.

I'm learning to flow.

I'm learning to fight.

I'm learning to rest.

I'm learning to let go,

upon giving my best.

I'm learning control.

I'm learning to trust.

It may be hard but

its certainly a must.

I'm learning to love.

I'm learning to care.

I'm learning to be selfless.

I'm learning to share.

Come what may and whatever may be

I know I'll be fine, cause God's with me.

2011-08-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

God, i really need Your help...help me to take the focus off of myself and put it on You and things of Your kingdom.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

my Priority...

2011-03-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

i will rmb that 2011 was the year i learnt the meaning of priorities.

somehow, one of my greatest wishes now is to be able to stay focused on the things that matter.

i know where i'm headed. i know the direction. i know where i wanna go.

but yet, distractions have been coming along the way and it has become rather hard to resist. maybe its time to let go of things that is futile.

maybe its time to be alone once more.

maybe its time to concentrate my effort on things that matter.

maybe its time to center my life around God.

You are my priority...

2011-03-01T02:38:00.000-08:00

I feel like a young sapling that is learning to grow its roots. My roots are still short and it absorbs water from the surface of the soil. I get my daily watering from the attention and love showered by friends and family. I need this water...lest I die. I'm growing upwards each day but the more I grow, the more I realize this temporary water does not satisfy because if I'm not watered enough each day, I dry up. Now that I'm away from my family and my close friends, I realize I'm getting pretty dry. So I'm learning to reach and dig deeper into the soil where there is an abundant source of water. Water that never dries up. Jesus is that source of living water and those that come to Him, will never thirst again.

and i know that with this source of Living Water, I'll grow to become a fruitful tree.

Nolonger satisfied with temporary highs. I'm going after something much more. something eternal.

2011-02-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

Dearest Lord Jesus,

Please help us to know the difference between right and wrong. What pleases you and what does not. What you love and what you hate. What we should do and what we should not be doing. What are the black or grey areas in our life that we need to consecrate to you. What's not permissible and what's not beneficial. Write your law upon our hearts. Reveal yourself to us that we may be transformed more into your image. Save us from ourselves O Lord...for you are mighty to save!

Loving you always,

Your little lamb

2011-02-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

Tears welled up my eyes as I was just singing this very beautiful song composed by a girl named Jocelyn:

Here I am, at your feet, crying out to you

Draw me near, Hold me close, Lord I wait on You

For You're my greatest love.

You're my Comforter and Strength.

You're the First, You're the Last

You're my guiding Light.

I will run. I will soar on eagle's wings.

As I wait on you Lord, my strength is restored.

Fix my eyes on you Jesus as I run this race.

Help me fight this fight of faith.

Life's fragility

2011-01-11T08:28:00.000-08:00

Life is fragile.

That scary truth stares right at me in the face each time a disaster occurs or someone I know passes away. I cannot understand it when people make statements like: 'I'm the master of my own fate!'. To me, its rubbish. You will never hear this from someone who is in poverty or from those who are in a state of helplessness...cause they understand that there are many things beyond human control. And in such cases, only God can intervene.

by looking at the magnitude of the universe itself and the preciseness of the way the earth is positioned for 'life' to be possible, we should be more than aware that we have a Creator and that we are subjected to Him. Our fate lies in His hands. And when He made each and everyone of us, He had a purpose in mind. God does not make mistakes nor were we made out of an accident. But each one of us are fearfully and wonderfully made. Isn't God great?

2010-11-09T04:50:00.000-08:00

Teach me Your ways and help me embrace them.

Give me a heart of thanksgiving and compassion.

Give me a an un-distracted and focused mind.

Teach me discipline and perseverance.

Give me a desire for You and for the things of your Kingdom.

Teach me humility and how to trust You.

Give me more faith and the strength to cast aside my will.

above all, teach me Your love; how to love You and the others around me.

this is all that i want for myself....

2010-10-17T04:52:00.000-07:00

Maturity is where one realizes that he/she is accountable to none but God.
Maturity is where one lives for no one else but God.
Maturity is where one realizes that he/she is alone without God.
Maturity is where one realizes his/her insignificance in this world and begins to fear God.
(We are significant to God though! Who am I that you are mindful of me...)

Maturity is where one realizes... 'I am nothing without God'.

Anything other than this is deception.

2010-10-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

I want the discernment to know when to take ppl's comments and when to guard myself from it.

2010-10-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

aimless, distracted and going no where. need to focus. need to get back on track.

my dear dear Jordanna...

2010-09-29T02:53:00.000-07:00

There's only one thing that can make me truly happy right now... it's when cancer has left you...and there's no trace of it left behind...Jordanna, stay strong, the Lord will deliver you. hang in there!

2010-09-29T02:42:00.000-07:00

I used to think that ranting on a blog was kinda useless but I seriously feel like doing that now. I'm so very tired!!! Tried to sleep at 4.30am on a cold and hard floor in the tutorial room. Tossed and turned...I ended up sleeping on a table instead. This is probably what you'll get at overnight camps held in TP. haha...nonetheless, it felt like home. cause of the ppl that were there.

I'll miss all of you guys...and no matter where we may be in the future, i hope we'll always be in contact and stay as friends forever.

The Ultimate Goal

2010-09-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

My Ultimate Goal in life is to be like Christ and fulfill the destiny to which He has called me.

loneliness...

2010-09-13T06:31:00.000-07:00

i guess i'm fortunate to say that there were only a handful of times that I've felt rather lonely.

moving into ntu has given me a lot of time for myself, which i lacked while working in tp. i was pretty much occupied with work, friends, family and i felt like i had a 'life' then; so to speak. But things has changed since i moved to the west.

i'm pretty much alone most of the time & the fact that i have only 13 hours of classes per week for this sem; seriously doesn't help. it kinda made me realize that i've this need to be occupied with something. this need probably developed while i was working. as a result, i'm battling with loneliness.

its times like this when i begin to understand that what i have now is most valuable... previously, by filling up my organizer, i perceived i was productive; felt a sense of accomplishment too. but what exactly have i accomplished or achieved? haha...i've got to seriously ask myself this question. with time now on my side, what should be done with it? what takes priority?

I thank God for being there for me always...I can never feel too lonely with Him by my side...and i know He'll guide me and see me through, for He is faithful!

I found this quote by a UN Official called Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish guy. It says:

“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.”

A great quote isn't it? I love it. I've already found that something. It's none other than God and our Lord Jesus Christ!

Delusions

2010-08-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

Delusions - a fixed belief that is either false, fanciful, or derived from deception.

I don't want to be deluded no more...

Goodbye TP

2010-08-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a year and 3 months since I started work @ tp. I've learnt a lot in the process and have indeed grown from where i was.

just recalling the things i had to deal with when i first started here makes me wonder how much things have changed or rather, i have changed. working here has altered my perspective as well as shaped me for the better. i thank God for that.

nonetheless, a new life awaits...one in the west. I've always admired those who could speak and write well and i hope to achieve that by the end of my 4 years in NIE; considering my major is in English. i still can't believe i'm on the road to becoming a teacher! it'll hit me soon enough though.

Goodbye TP.

Thank you Lord...

2010-07-22T08:20:00.001-07:00

For all the things you've done, I thank you.
For the strength you've given me, I thank you.
For the peace and joy I possess, I thank you.
For your gift of salvation, I thank you.
For giving me life, I thank you.
For loving me, I thank you.
And for who you are... I thank you! :)

Teach me how to love

2010-06-03T02:46:00.000-07:00

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love does not envy.

Love does not boast.

Love is not proud.

Passion...

2010-05-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

felt really sian at work yesterday...i guess it occurs when life's lacking excitement.

went for lunch as usual and intended to catch up on some Bible reading at the library for the rest of my breaktime. bumped into my colleague on my way there...chatted with her for a while. when she saw my Bible, she asked if i was gonna read it later and afterwhich she mentioned that her son enjoys reading the Bible and always nagged her to buy Bible story books for him.

i naturally assumed he was a christian and so was my colleague. to my surprise, they weren't. and i asked if her son has been to church, and she said that he really wants to and would pester her about it but as his schedule is packed with tuition mon-sun, he doesn't have the time.
poor kid!

This really got me thinking. i've been a Christian about 10 years now and i struggle many a times to stay awake while reading the Bible and during sermons. yet, this 12 year old boy, a non-christian, who doesn't even have the privilege of going to church, enjoys reading the Bible so much he nags his mom to buy it for him.

he has something that i think i lack for now...and that is passion. i've lost the passion for a lot of things...not just in the aspect of Christianity, but even at work and life itself. I need passion. and i believe it starts with knowing why you're doing what you're doing. the purpose behind it all. :)

~Lord, you're my purpose in life.

2010-04-25T23:18:00.000-07:00

haven't blogged in a while already. took up running (or rather jogging) recently...been trying to stick to about 4 km every morning :D hope to keep healthy as well as to burn those fats! (hoping that whenever i glance in the mirror I'll see a slimmer me).

It made me realise a truth...that life's a race. it's not a race against others, but one where you are your competitor. competing against yourself and overcoming your limits. everyone runs at their own pace. it doesn't matter if you're faster than most, cause even the slow get to enjoy the scenery that most tend to miss.

I'm running for You...:D

2010-04-18T20:24:00.001-07:00

no one's indisposable...

2010-03-16T20:01:00.001-07:00

did a bit of reflection lately and i can't help thinking how blessed i am. the fact that i have such a great job like this; is what I'd consider a miracle. decent pay with lots of exposure and challenges plus flexibility is a rare find. not to mention the proximity to my home. haha...this may not be an ideal job for most ppl but it's a pretty good fit for me...but then again, this isn't the place to settle down for now. gotta aim higher...

my uncle sort of reminded me of something that i've been trying to avoid for the longest time. what do i want for a career? if i'm not accepted into NIE, what next?

To be honest, i have an answer. but it's the kind of answer most would not support. i wanna be a entrepreneur. it's the other thing i'm passionate about, but it's not easy getting down to it.

anyway, i've decided to take things a step at a time. i may have my plans but God is the One deciding the route i should take and i intend to follow His lead. besides, why should i be thinking so far ahead when i'm not even sure what may happen tomoro?

Photography

2010-03-03T16:17:00.000-08:00

Recently, i acquired a new found hobby and i realised that i might be getting hooked to it. A hobby called photography. I've been learning a lot about it since last year but the whole thing sparked off when i found my dad's SLR...didn't know he was into it when he was younger...guess his eye for art is in the genes; causing me to fall in love with it.

The beauty of it all is just amazing. It has this irresistible ability to beautify the simple things in life, capture intricate details our eyes so often miss and bring back the joyous memories that we tend to forget.

Anyway, here are credits to people who sparked off this interest in me:

Andrew - for showing me the beauty of film photography and what it can do. double exposure and all. your pictures inspired me to do better. I'll work on it. and we'll arrange for another photography trip when you get back :D don't give up on this hobby yet k? Hope you'll be able to recover your SLR...

Fen Ning - for patiently teaching me the basics of photography, shuttle speed, depth of feel, F-stops and all. Thanks gal!!!

Sabrina - for letting me snap some shots with your D40 and for your encouragement. Your passion for photography is infectious! haha...and thanks for accompanying me on all those trips we made to the reservoir to snap.

Mary - for being my photography buddy in the office and for showing me great pictures that Leona took! haha... thanks for accompanying me on the trips we made around TP to snap. We'll work together towards owning a DSLR k?

2010-02-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

i remembered someone once said that we'll always have a big sign board hanging in front of us that says this:

I am a work in progress. Progressing to become a better person. To those whom I've disappointed before, thanks for bearing with me and I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused... :D

2010-02-22T17:13:00.001-08:00

There are a few things in life that i find really hard to achieve:

Go the extra mile
Love the unlovely
Smile at the storm
Live by faith and not by sight
Trust and rely on God rather than my abilities
Not let people define who I am

I'll be working towards that...

2010-02-21T18:15:00.000-08:00

Often times, i find it hard to explain myself and so i don't. I really need people who understand me and can accept me for who i am.

2010-02-17T00:57:00.000-08:00

I realise that a lot of things are actually very simple and being human, i tend to complicate things. Certain truths have always been around but it's just that it needs to be dug out. I've always wanted to do great things for God. But yet many times I forget that we need to start with the small ones first. Obeying God in the simplest things is the first step in order to progress. Only then can we be trusted with greater.

2010-02-08T00:06:00.000-08:00

Mould me to become the person that you want me to be.

Rachel wants to be the best Rachel that Rachel can be...

2010-01-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

Cornerstone's been having a lot of great preachers recently...all of which really thought me more about God and encouraged me to pursue Him. I wanna know more about the God i serve. Cause He's a Great God and He's my Heavenly Father.

Been crying a lot the past few weeks during the sermons at church. Yesterday, the preacher (Ps Mario) shared this very touching story about a guy named Young and how he managed to achieve what people thought and said that he could never do. And when Ps Mario asked him what his goal was, he replied: Young wants to be the best Young that Young can be."

I was in tears approaching the end of the sermon cause to me, this is what life is all about. And this should be the way we ought to live. True victory does not emerge when you're competing against another. Cause there'll always be someone better than you. But true victory is derived from overcoming oneself...to be the best that one can be. :D

2010-01-31T19:13:00.001-08:00

Jan just flew by and since then, my schedule's been hectic. Really treasure those times when i could just slack in front of the TV without a care in the world. But i thank God that my time is spent more fruitfully, or rather, so it seems.

Recently, I learnt the importance of boundaries and why they should not be crossed.

The difference between what's right and what's wrong is only a fine line and all the more one will tend to compromise. And that's just all it takes for one to cross that line. So I guess i'm just gonna stick to certain things rigidly. Especially my principals and values. Doesn't matter what you say.

I've decided to go for NIE this year. While attending the talk on Sat, I realised that my decision will more or less secure the next 8 years of my life. 4 years studying in NIE and 4 years serving the bond as a teacher. It's a scary decision to make but I love children. They are my passion. Oh...did you know that the Greek word for passion is pathos, which means suffering? Something i learnt yesterday at church. It's true though. You'll have to pay a price for what you're passionate about... :)

2010-01-06T18:11:00.000-08:00

Endurance, Perserverance and Persistance.

Clean-up needs to be done.
Lessons need to be learnt.

Entrusting myself to the Potter.

2010-01-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

I learnt something valuable today.

That there's nothing to fear, or be intimidated about.

i bid 09 farewell...

2009-12-31T01:44:00.000-08:00

Looking back at all that has happened this year, I'm really thankful to God for seeing me through 09'...and I know that I've changed for the better. Did a bit of reflection and here's what year 09' taught me:

Get real

When i was a kid, i had the wildest fantasies! Most were unrealistic...and watching those Disney fairytales had led me to believe that "life was a bed of roses". My happy childhood certainly didn't prove me wrong, or even my teenage life for the matter. Ok lah...i mean, i knew life ain't a bed of roses but yet, I really believed in happy endings. But for this year, I guess i grew out of that. A dear friend of mine pass away unexpectedly...and that woke me up to the reality of life. It also made me realise how important it actually is to show love and kindness to one another everyday of our lives.

Insecurity

I consider myself a highly insecure person. Someone who feeds on the comments of others and whose personality is shaped by people and circumstances. But I'm glad that I'm changing. It's one of my targets for 2010; to learn to secure myself in God.

Humility

I never really understood the meaning of humility and thought that it was simply being humble. But it's more than that...it's literally disregarding yourself. I used to take pride in myself a lot and trusted in my abilities. But after i started work and found out that i had problems even getting simple things done, I knew i had deceived myself big time. When things got bad, I came to the breaking point where I understood that I was nothing without God. Without Him, my life amounts to nothing. He is my Creator, and I have nothing to boast about myself. I didn't create myself, God did. And if there is anything i should be boasting about, it should be in God.

Moulding

One of my favorite characters in the Bible in Joseph. He endured much without complain and eventually, rose to power. The situations and circumstances that he went through, moulded him and prepared him for the day where he would rise to be a ruler in Egypt. In the past, I've always thought that things could be done instantly so long as I'm determined enough, and that if i wanted to change, I could. But i've learnt that moulding is a process, a long and tedious one; of which endurance is required. It's similar to running a marathon. Hence, I wanna let God mould me and shape me the way He desires, for I'm the clay and He is the Potter.

Good bye 2009!

2009-12-24T07:32:00.000-08:00

Christmas is just 15 mins away...so, i'm gonna do a bit of reflection here. when i was a kid, Christmas equated to presents. i had loads of them back in those days. I knew the meaning behind Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus. That was what i was taught in sunday school. but i never really understood what was so fantastic about Christmas. I'd think...Jesus was not even born on the exact Christmas day and so, i never felt like Christmas was a very big deal. I'd look forward to it no doubt...to the end-year parties, writing Christmas cards and the Spirit of giving that followed the festive season.

But yesterday, Ps Daniel gave a very good illustration about the Christmas story...and for once, i heard it with new insight. Quoting from Matthew 1vs 23 in the Bible, it says: Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel," which is translated, "God with us."

Jesus was also called Immanuel which means God with us. man and God were separated because of sin. And Jesus came as human to bear our sins and crucify them on the cross, though He himself is sinless. And now, we can have that relationship with God our Maker. Jesus is God...and He has walked among us as a human being in order to rebuild this relationship between God and man.

Hence Jesus was also known as Immanuel, God with us. And Christmas is to celebrate the fact that we no longer have to be separated from God but from this day hence forth, we can choose to have a relationship with our Maker and He'll always be with us till the very end. That's Christmas!

GOD BLESS YOU!!!

Wedding...

2009-12-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday as Lynette walked down the aisle, I was very touched and overjoyed for her. It was such a beautiful sight to behold. Knowing that she has gone through so much in life and that she's finally found her happiness, gives me joy. But the true beauty of it all was the fact that the both of them love God very much...And with God as the head of this marriage, blessed is the couple!

2009-12-02T17:32:00.000-08:00

I long to roam the streets once more. I want an adventure. I crave for it. I miss the times I was there. :(

2009-11-29T19:11:00.000-08:00

2009 is drawing to a close real soon.

Recently, I realise that I'll need to 'prioritize' before heading into the new year. I only have that much that I can put on my plate. (God, please show me what I ought to be doing and what I ought not to do :)

These few weeks have been exciting for me. So much has been going on and more is to come. I've 2 weddings to attend this week. Heading to Langkawi in 2 weeks. And then there's Christmas! Can't wait!

This week's revelation:
True Victory does not arise from competing with others but when you overcome yourself! :)

TPRAWKS!!

2009-11-18T17:20:00.000-08:00

I'm shagged!!! Haha...tprawks just ended yesterday and I'm really glad all our efforts paid off well. Seeing the rawkers have fun and be themselves is fulfilling. But the thing that still amazes me most is this thing known as the "TP Spirit". I can't deny it's existence. I've experienced it during freshman orientation and it's even more prominent in tprawks. It's not something that's describable but all i can say is, it allows you to be yourself.

TP OEI!!!!!!!

2009-11-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

My Dearest Christie,

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!! I was really touched when you wished me happy birthday on your blog and so, i wanted to do the same for you...(pardon me for lacking originality). Haha...i remember when i first met you, we were 10 years old right? hmmm...or was it later? haha...can't really recall...

It has truly been a blessing knowing a friend like you. I really thank God for you and pray that you'll always be as cheerful and as joyful as you were before :D haha...can't wait for you to be back in SG soon! I realized that during our flag meet-ups, we always do the funniest things. The last meet-up was not so bad...we laughed really loudly and joked...but the one before that when we were eating at New York New york, Denise got her "hot knives" and we ended up writing on each other's books outside a toilet!

Haha...i can still remember that Trudy cried the last round caused she was too happy already. Really missed those times. But I'm glad that we still have each other in our hearts and I'll always treasure the friendship that i have with you. I thank God for that. It's hard to find friends of the same kindred spirit and I'm glad that I have you guys.

You take care k? We'll catch up soon and create another one of those memorable moments in "Flag" history! Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!

Love:
Rach =D

My Destiny...

2009-10-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

There are a few things I intend to do:

I'm gonna re look at certain things and start looking from God's perspective.
Gonna renew my mind. Get rid of junk that's in there and put in God's Word.
I'll try and take the focus off myself and the situations I'm facing and put my trust in Him and pay attention to what He requires of me.
Abandon childish behaviours and start living like a true son of my heavenly Father.

Expecting life transformation today at Lance Wallnau's.
I'm not gonna let myself continue living like this...
I find no purpose in living unless it's for You.

I'm stepping into all that You have for me :)

Choices...

2009-10-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that before each day ends, do some reflection or you would have just wasted your day. I didn't really understand what that means till now.

This week, I learnt something rather valuable. I learnt that we have a choice. We ought not to let anything condition us. The thing that often conditions us is our mind and our thought patterns. But we can choose to bring it under subjection and do the right thing.

-There is power in all of the choices we make.

2009-10-07T20:18:00.001-07:00

it seems that i don't know marketing. thought i did till my supervisor told me that i don't. i guess, i don't after all.

2009-10-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

have i been detouring from what i'm supposed to be doing? God, is this where you want me to be? and is this what you want me to do?....

living to survive...

2009-10-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

weekends have come and gone :(
time seems to be passing faster each time.

There's a saying that once you hit 20, time will fly very fast and before you know it, years might have gone by.

nowadays, my time is spent more wisely than b4. doing loads of stuff. in the past, I'd just let time fly by slacking at home. but yet, whatever I'm doing now is nothing memorable. just plain routine. and this is probably the thing that many has been sucked into without even realising it.

Everyday feels the same and we just go through it without really sitting down to think what we're doing and the purpose of it. for Singaporeans especially, all we do is work and work. get our pay, use it to clear bills and work more. and the worse part is, we don't even get to enjoy the fruit of our labour! it's like, we're living just to survive.

I like this saying found in Ecclesiastes, a book written by King Solomon, also known as the wisest man:
Yet when I had surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.....
A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work.

I'll take King Solomon's advice and learn not to live life like a routine. cause it's meaningless. i choose to live life for God and to serve Him all my days rather than to be caught up in the systems of this world. I've found true purpose in doing so... :D

2009-09-26T04:31:00.000-07:00

i feel really thankful right now for all the friends i have :)

God has given me many close friends but more inportantly, He has shown me true friendship.

i'm blessed to say that i have friends who are an inspiration to me and they encourage me to move on.

from my best friend, i learned determination.

from a buddy, i learned to rely on God's strength when i'm weak.

from a long-time friend, i learnt innocence, humility, how to smile and appreciate the smaller things in life.

from a close friend, i learnt honesty and being true to oneself.

and from a good friend, i learnt how to be a friend, how to teach and how to love.

It's really a miracle when i look back and see how God brought these people into my life unexpectedly and how close we've become. Lord, I pray that you'll bless all my friends and that one day, they'll come to know You as their Lord and Saviour. Amen.

2009-09-23T00:09:00.000-07:00

for those who remembered me yesterday, thank you very much. :)

i know who you are, and you'll always be treasured.

2009-09-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

I had quite a hectic weekend:

Friday -

Went to Cedar Girls' in the afternoon from 12-4.

Had to attend a meeting after reaching back to office.

Rushed of after meeting at 6 to Compassvale Sec till 9.30pm.
(the speaker actually spoke on his course when he was supposed to talk on TP in general! Principal and teachers were quite upset! me too! major miscommunication)

Sat -

Went to St Anthony's C. Sec from 11 till 2.

Rushed of for driving lesson from 2-4.
(Knocked down the pole while learning vertical parking :(

Rushed home to change and headed down to Samuel's birthday party.
(It was at Tanglin club. Great buffet. The most grand birthday party I've ever attended!)

Reached home at cinderella hour and had to spend some time preparing lesson to teach the sunday school kids.

Sun -

Woke up at 7.15 to continue preparing lesson.

Left for church and reached at 8.15.

Taught the kids for first service.

Attended main congregation for second service.
(Pastor spoke on my favourite character in the Bible, Joseph! haha...other than my Lord of course.)

Grabbed quick lunch and had meeting with pastor Sharon till 2.00pm.
(was real sleepy....zzz)

Finally managed to go home and get some sleep before going to play badminton from 8-10:)

Mon -

Took a-day off from work to celebrate twin brothers' birthday.

(went to 6 places: bowling at kallang leisure park, lunch at hotel, shopping at vivo, went to see monkeys at bukit timah, shopping at century square and lastly, dinner at GIANT)

fun and exhausting!

Tues -
Well, back to work!

sg blues...

2009-09-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

i really long to travel overseas

to go with crazy people and do crazy things together

to have an adventure that i can call my own...

anyone?

2009-08-23T19:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I witnessed something rather amazing. For the first time, I saw a Pri 4 kid leading worship. And God's presence came down. I also witnessed the Holy Spirit come upon another child and he bowed his head low with tears in his eyes and prayed that all of us would honor and obey God's Word.

That's my dream.
To see children connected to God and moving into all that He has for their lives:)

2009-08-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Clouds of Mongolia...

You know, sometimes I can never imagine how a person can allow themselves to 'get stuck' in SG without leaving the country. We can't even get a good glimpse of stars here! So here's an advice to those who've never left the country, start saving up to travel!

My workplace

2009-08-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

really learned a lot from here :) TP's CCD.

2009-08-04T23:37:00.000-07:00

i've no idea why but i'm suddenly interested in photography.

There was this guy that i met that day at the cyber centre in TP.

He was from Visual central, TP's photography club and his was taking his dip course in Visual Communications.

He laid out some laminated photos on the floor and i was amazed by what i saw. To me, those photos were great! but according to him, it was ok only.

i used my hp cam to snap my favourite:

This is Dover MRT by the way...pardon the reflection.

He mentioned that he liked to snap the ordinary things of life but the extrodinary way.
I liked the idea.

For me, i would like to snap facial expressions. Joyful expression, tired expression, sad expression etcetc.

Emphasis will be on the eyes, cause i believe that the eyes are a window to a person's soul.

Anyway, below are just some other pics that i snapped:

Sunrise in Muar

Black Butterfly Eating Rochor Tauhuay

pic was snapped by Roseann if i recalled correctly...haha...did a bit of editing to it.

Hope to publish nicer ones in future!

-End-

Half-way house

2009-07-16T02:41:00.000-07:00

Pastor Yang told us another story during his sermon last week, here it goes:

In the Swiss Alps, there is this place called the 'Half-way house'. And tourists will sort of sign up to climb the mountain. It' s a one day thing and so the tourists will arrive very early in the morning and get ready to climb. After they have climbed for about 7 hours (half-way), they will reach this place called the half-way house where climbers can get warm and have a rest. The surroundings are really comfortable. There is a big picture window for climbers to enjoy the magnificent view; there is also a fireplace, hot chocolate, and good food to eat.

After some time, a bell will ring, signalling them that rest time's over, time to start climbing. If I remembered correctly, Pastor Yang mentioned that only 10% of them will get up and start climbing again. The rest will stay back in the half-way house. And without fail, that afternoon as the other climbers reach the top those in the halfway house gather by the window and watch. A quiet regret always falls on the group as they contemplate what might have been if they would have choose to endure the climb rather than enjoy the comfort.

This certainly reminded me of this thing called the 'comfort zone'. Am i in it? Or am i out?

Pastor Yang ended by asking us:

Are you mountain climbers? Are you gonna scale greater heights?

Are you gonna be a Christian living on the lower plains, where it's comfortable, where there's food and all but when the flood comes, you're washed away?

Or are you gonna be a mountain climber? where it's uncomfortable, where the air's thinner but Where floods can't touch you?

Haha...hope this has inspired you not to stay in comfort zone, but to scale moutains. The more you hope to achieve, the higher the price to pay.

2009-07-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

I believe there ought to be a balance between:

Being realistic and reaching for the sky.

Being practical and yet, daring to dream.

Being contented, yet unsatisfied with the current.

Accepting life as it is and wanting to change your situation.

I don't know where the balance is.

Depends on situation I guess.

I think most of the time, people are at either end.

Either we say life's like that, or we refuse to face up to reality.

I believe those who can achieve the balance, will turn out to be successful in life. Agree?

ok...just another random post.

Emotions

2009-07-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

I'm really hurt and frustrated.

Dun know how long I can continue this way.

Really need God to strengthen me.

I've been too pampered previously.

Gotta learn how to take hard knocks.

-What doesn't kill me, will make me a better man-

2009-07-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

Been working a lot lately. From like 8.30am to 9.30pm almost everyday from Mon-Fri.
This is nothing compared to some others.

I remembered that someone once said, work hard in your youth, enjoy later. I used to think that our youth should be devoted to enjoyment instead. But somehow, I don't think this way anymore. This must be what ppl call the transition period from a youth to a young adult.

I'm gonna try and make myself numb to all these emotions.

Shouldn't be thinking too much anyway.

Lord, help me set my eyes on things that are above. Things that are bigger than I.

Like You and me. :)

A story

2009-06-25T01:12:00.000-07:00

This story was told to me weeks ago but it turns out that i had saved it under my drafts and so, i'm posting it up.

That day my mom came into my room and we had one of those heart-to-heart chats we normally had and she told me that she came across an article that day that caused her to cry. It was about this 10 year old austic boy in singapore...he had long hair and his parents were divorced and he lived with his mother. They were very poor and the boy will always ask people for food(he dosen't beg)....hence, the neighbours living around the area knows him and call him ah boy.

His mother suffers from depression and many at times, she will lock her son out of the house and so, the boy will end up sleeping downstairs during the night. He will also prepare food and place it at the entrance of the door of his house for his mother to eat. one fine day as usual, the boy was locked out and so, he slept downstairs and this was brought to the police attention. So the police came to take a look and beng scared of the police, he ran away from the police and next thing that happened was, he fell off the building while running away from the police and was found dead.

Why does his life have to end this way? It was the question i ask myself the day my mom told me, and now as i post it up, its the question i'm asking myself again today. Nonetheless, i do believe he's in heaven with God.

Hope this reminds you to treasure your loved ones as life is really precious and fragile as well.

Poem

2009-06-25T01:11:00.000-07:00

looking not at the situations before me

nor those that are ahead.

but focusing my eyes on you Lord

is what i should be doing instead.

forgetting what was and letting go of the past.

you're my hope and future

and all that i'll ever ask.

-Rachel-™

2009-06-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

I've decided to raise the bar of friendship.

I will not make commitments to just simply anyone

but yet to those i commit,

i will give my all.

That's the way it should be.

I will let go of friendship that are not meant to be

and treasure those who have stuck with me

and can accept me for who i am.

This is not a barrier of friendship i am building,

but simply, to focus my attention on those

who i love and truly loves me.

quotes

2009-06-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. -albert einstein-

Can anyone tell me what this means?

random post

2009-06-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

My world had always been simple. I just had this simple wish that everyone in the world will be as happy as I am.

Simple as my wish was, I knew it was unachievable.
Cause there are ppl who don't know what it means to feel 'contented', ppl who are suffering daily due to poverty, and finally, the reason of reasons is because God is not in their lives.

I really start to wonder, at which point did my world start to get so complicated.
Maybe that's why I told myself, I will not work for companies and corporate firms where blackmail and backstabbing is so common.

I have a rather straightforward and simple mindset. Many times, I do things and say things unknowingly carrying no hurtful intentions. I just say what I feel. But the ironic thing is, I'm sensitive and tend to read too much into things. haha. But even so, I will not bear a grudge.

Well, perhaps you know me better now. haha. anyway, this is just another random post.

A new chapter begins.

2009-06-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

I thank God for His constant guidance upon my life. Many ppl asked me what I intended to do after I graduated. I was rather tired of answering that question. Cause the truth is...I don't know. All I knew was, God was taking me a step at a time. Today, I came to what I thought was a rather major conclusion...that I'm not cut out for the business line and probably never will be. I thought I was interested in business...and I was also thinking of studying a business course in uni. But it was only after today, that i knew it was not what I was meant to do. I dream to be an entrepreneur. Its a big dream. and one that requires a whole lot of hard work. I don't even have the drive to see it till fulfillment. But I pray that if God wills, it will be done. Amen.

Graduation.

2009-06-01T05:24:00.000-07:00

Best Pals>>>>
4G SPF Pals>>>>

I'm ending my 3 years in TP with this 2 pics. All I can say is, I've grown and matured a whole lot and God has indeed been very merciful to me as He took me through this 2 years. All Glory be to God!

~Case closed.

happy times

2009-05-21T09:53:00.000-07:00

graduation is over. but yet, i'm not done with TP. working there now. i discovered its a big difference being their 'customer' and their 'promoter'. there just so much that goes into the marketing of an educational institute such as a poly. well, its a great job. i know i'll learn a lot...stuff that'll make a difference to my future. Praise God! Even better news today...Buddy's mom accepted Christ and was baptized! I'm really happy 4 her! cause now i know that she has found life as well as the one who gave life to her.! All Glory be to GOD!

2009-05-04T07:45:00.001-07:00

One word to describe my trip to jakarta...'enriching'....in many ways. Ever sat in a car being driven by someone who had no driving license at the speed of 130 km/h in Jakarta? haha...well maybe its no big deal but there was this other night where i was being driven at a 160 km/h in a fog(rather rare occurance) at night without seat belts! But the best part of this whole trip was, i finally got to know my best friend better. Sometimes, i feel kinda sad thinking that we are from different countries. But i know our friendship has stood the test of time. and it transcends boundaries. hope to go back soon!

My 2 Springfield Indonesian buddies and hosts! Fenty Ang and Richard!

i slipped into the mud...washing off. i seriously got to correct my habit of falling down all the time.

Fenty's sis is a true supporter of manchester united. Spending around $20,000 sing on their products and she actually cried bitterly for 3 days when beckham left the team and she considers every one who supports Man U her brother and sisters. crazy right?!no...its not. its just pure insanity.

Carpet!

Banners and small T-shirts.
6 Jerseys! 1 jacket

Posters cups waterbottle VCDs

'Dart' board in the background and monopoly...! you don't buy land, you buy players!

Biscuits and even sweets!

Lots are not shown in the pics....a lot more i tell you! anyway, the one below in the photo with me is none other than Lydia! The Man U supporter!that's it!

my week

2009-04-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

almost done packing and i'll soon be off to jakarta. finally made it work this time. we've been talking about it since sec 4. and now finally i get to go on this vacation. wait for pics. they'll be uploaded soon. anyway, I learned a lot this week. and most of the lessons came by me making mistakes. In our church sunday school, i finally got a chance to teach the children for just a brief 15 mins. I did not prepare myself well enough and so i felt i messed up...

i've also been spending a lot of money recently. just blew $20 bucks at Sushi tei today. I keep trying to remind myself of this proverb in the Bible:' A fool and his money are soon parted'. Well, i gotta start managing my finances well.

The job interview at Temasek poly went rather smoothly today. hope to get the job. haha...recently, i also found out that the lady cleaner at our office is a malaysian...and that she has to go across the causeway every morning in order to come to work. she ends work at 9+ daily and by the time she reaches home, 12am! and the worse part is, she has to wake up at 3am! 3 hrs of sleep daily. just for $900 a month! so, if you think your job is tiring, well, hope this changes your perspective about things. i'll continue packing. blog again when i get back on sun.

2009-04-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

miracles happen =)

2009-04-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

Got great news today! My friend's mom was diagnosed with cancer a year ago during this period, it was final stage. Doctor gave her 2 months to live. Well, its been 12 months and she's completely healed! We've been praying hard and God answered! Glory be to Him who created all things through Jesus!

- The power is not in your prayers, but the one who answers them.-

Read this conversation...its a must read i tell you!

2009-04-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

A VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has With GOD , the ALMIGHTY.
He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .
-
Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
-
(Student was silent )
-
Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella.. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?
-
(Student did not answer)
-
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?
-
(Student had no answer)
-
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD , Tasted your GOD , Smelt your GOD ? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't..
-
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )
-
Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
-
(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )
-
Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do. Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
-
(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )
-
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
-
(The Class was in Uproar )
-
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?
-
(The Class broke out into Laughter )
-
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . . No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that You have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?
-
(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)
-
Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . .. Exactly ! The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

NB:I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation . . . and if so ... . You'll probably want your Friends / Colleagues to enjoy the same . . . won't you? Forward them to Increase their Knowledge . . . or FAITH. That student was Albert Einstein.

2009-04-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

super tired these days. maybe its the lack of sleep. or maybe its just the lack of direction. thinking of the future really gets me down. especially when i'm not certain of where i'm headed. i know where i wanna see myself eventually but as for how to get there, i haven't much of a clue. i rmb pastor daniel mentioned once that, during his converstion with a taxi driver, he asked the taxi driver whether driving passengers around was tiring...and the taxi driver replied that the most tiring part of his job, was to drive aimlessly looking for passengers. now i know its true. i'm casting my nets everywhere, hoping to get something. but yet, i know i should be focused. anyway, i thought this was a good quote made by

Einstein: I never think of the future, it comes soon enough.

i'm gonna do just that. take one step at a time, there's no need to rush...

2009-04-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

zzzzz

2009-03-23T09:12:00.000-07:00

There's another interesting fact i learned about the eagle today...

The Eagle tests before it trusts. When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursuing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male pursuing her. Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches it as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases it. He has to catch it before it falls to the ground. He then brings it back to the female eagle. The female eagle grabs the twig and flies to a higher altitude and then drops the twig for the male to chase. This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle has mastered the art of catching the twig, then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her.

Wanna know why?

Ans: During the time of training the young eaglets to fly, the mother eagle pushes them off the cliff into the air. As they shriek in fear, father eagle flies out and catches them up on his back before they fall and brings them back to the cliff. This goes on for sometime until they start flapping their wings and start to soar.

The reason the female eagle ensures that the male eagle has mastered the art of catching the twig before mating with him is because she needs to know that he is able to catch the eaglets when they are thrown off the cliff and thought how to fly. Amazing isn't it?

God is like the Eagle. He puts us through life's situations and sometimes, its seems as if we are on our own...falling. But I know that at the nick of time, God will always be there. There's a reason why my email is soar eaglet and my blog add too. cause time after time, i'm thrown of a cliff. and when it seems i'm about to hit the bottom, God is there to pick me up. I yearn for the day when I finally learn to soar.

Ryan Wells Foundation

2009-03-04T05:42:00.000-08:00

While having supper at Bedok 85 one night, my youngest bro told me about his Nepal trip and how his teacher told him a story about a boy named Ryan, who at the age of 6 had a vision of providing clean water to the poorer nations like Uganda, where ppl died from drinking muddy water. I thought it was interesting and decided to check it out...well, I was really put to shame after that. Here's how the story goes:

Ryan's Well Foundation

In 1998, when Ryan Hreljac was in grade one he learned from his teacher, Mrs Prest that people were dying because they didn't have clean water to drink. He also learned that children in a Ugandan village had to walk many kilometers every day just for fresh drinking water. Dismayed, he set out to do enough household chores over a period of 4 months to raise the $70 he figured it would take to drill a well for the village. It turned out the well would cost more like $2,000 to drill – but Ryan was undaunted, and he raised close to $3,000 that year as his story made headlines.

Ryan’s first well was built in 1999 when Ryan was seven years-old at a school in a Ugandan village. The well continues to serve thousands of people. Ryan’s determination grew from the $70 collected by doing simple household chores to a Foundation that today has contributed a total of 484 wells in 16 countries bringing clean water and sanitation services to over 611,512 people. The Foundation has raised millions of dollars.

Actor Matt Damon and his nonprofit organization Africa H2O recently committed $200,000 to The Ryan's Well Foundation through a matching funds initiative. "It will help bring clean water to thousands more people and help us achieve what many thought was impossible," says Ryan of Damon's support.

Any kid can follow his lead, says Ryan. “Kids can begin with anything from helping out around the house to starting their own project,” he adds. They’re real words of wisdom, coming from this boy who considered himself, at age 6, just as responsible as anyone else for solving a problem affecting people a world away.

I hope this will impact your life. If you want more details, google Ryan Wells Foundation or go to http://www.ryanswell.ca/story/index.html. God bless.

My first cup of Starbucks...

2009-02-27T09:14:00.000-08:00

Hot chocolate at $6.50. That's what I like about Starbucks. Fantastic concept, the idea behind is simple yet unique and has the mass market appeal plus the ability to command a high price. $$$

Starbucks:

Idea - to enhance the consumer's coffee drinking experience. As to how they do it, is something I wanna learn.

They took coffee drinking to another level. From the typical kopitiam format, to where it is now. And the best part is, ppl are willing to pay for the coffee itself even without the unique 'Starbucks experience'.

There are many who would need their cup of Starbucks each morning before going to work. My cousin, Winston is one of them. Starbucks probably did not anticipate that this would happen as their original concept was to sell the coffee along with the experience as a 'package'. But when ppl starting queing up to 'tapao' their coffee to work, Starbucks restrategized. And today, other than selling at their 'cafe outlets', they also sell at those retail carts and mobile stands (as shown below) near business districts.

Ppl queing up at Starbucks before going to a meeting>>>

They are a retailer's dream...my dream too. Hope to achieve that someday.

2009-02-26T04:50:00.000-08:00

I've just read Jason's blog. Its amazing to see God working in his life. Feel kinda guilty after that. Guess its cause I know I'm not doing enough. I really should'nt lock myself at home.

2009-02-21T03:07:00.000-08:00

I have practically hibernated myself at home for 4 days already. There's got to be a better way to study other than locking myself up behind these 3 walls and a window grill.

2009-02-06T07:42:00.000-08:00

I discovered that apologies are a result of failing to meet expectations. There are many people who expects a lot from us...including friends, but i believe in most cases, the people that will expect the most from us will be our parents. haha...need i elaborate more? But the funny thing is, although they seem to expect the most from us, yet, they are also the one who expects the least from us. They go through so mush just to raise us up and yet, expecting nothing in return. haha....maybe not all parents. but i can be sure to say that most are unselfish and their love is unconditional.

2009-02-05T08:38:00.000-08:00

Real life situations, real life problems. I've always believed in the concept of happy endings. Maybe its cause i watch too much TV...Well, life's not like that. There are many problems that just can't be solved with human effort but requires Godly intervention. That's why I believe in prayer. Prayer itself has no power. But the power lies in the one you pray to. When we have done whatever we can do and all else fails, we can only pray and intercede. Its foolish to think that the human strength is limitless. We can't do anything and everything. We are prone to helplessness at times. Quoting Shakespere, :' All world's a stage, and men and women merely actors.' God is the director. Therefore, I dun believe in placing too much trust my own abilities...they'll fail me. I wanna learn to trust God instead.

With all I am...

2009-02-01T19:21:00.000-08:00

Many of us now are facing difficult times and I was reminded of this song yesterday at church. Auntie Yvonne told me that this was the song that pulled her through when Kristeen, her niece passed on. To my brothers and sisters-in-Christ who are facing trials and difficulties, hope the lyrics of this song will encourage you.

With all I am (Hillsong) - (song can be played in the media player)

Verse:

Into your hand I commit again

With all I am for you Lord

You hold my world

In the palm of your hand

and I'm yours forever

CHORUS

Jesus I believe in you

Jesus I belong to you

you're the reason that I live

the reason that I sing

with all I am

Verse:

I'll walk with You wherever you go

through tears and joy

I'll trust in You

and I will live in all of Your ways

and Your promises forever

Poem from 'Streams in the Dessert':

God is in every tomorrow,

Therefore I live for today,

Certain of finding at sunrise,

Guidance and strength for my way;

Power for each moment of weakness,

Hope for each moment of pain,

Comfort for every sorrow,

Sunshine and Joy after rain.

2009-01-25T04:16:00.000-08:00

The year of the Ox means a year of hardwork.

I am getting outta comfort zone.

Putting my hands to the plough.

I can't waste time, I seriously can't.

Its not a choice, its for survival and salvation.

Many have passed on just this month alone,

I gotta get back on course and get to work

so that more will come to see the Light.

~I'll shine for You~

Eagle

2009-01-22T04:59:00.001-08:00

There are many things I like about the Eagle:

Looks For & Flies Into Storms - As storms approach, lesser birds head for cover, but the mighty eagle spreads its wings and with a great cry mounts upon the powerful updrafts, soaring to heights of glory. Eagles use the storm to lift him to these great heights.

Conclusion: Many shun away from the storms of life, few embrace it.

Very Gentle & Attentive To Their Young - The eagle is known for its ferocity, yet no member of the bird family is more gentle and attentive to its young. At just the right time, the mother eagle begins to teach her eaglets how to fly. She gathers an eaglet onto her back, and spreading her wings, flies high.

Suddenly she swoops out from under the eaglet and as it falls, it gradually learns what its wings are for until the mother catches it once again on her wings. The process is repeated. If the young is slow to learn or cowardly, she returns him to the nest, and begins to tear the nest apart, until there is nothing left for the eaglet to cling to. Then she nudges him off the cliff.

Conclusion: In life, the best way to teach someone is to let him try and learn, at the same time, to sit back and monitor progress. also, get out of comfort zone (nest).

Jumps of cliffs- An Eagle makes use of hot-air rising from the cliffs to soar high. They stand on the edge of the cliff and throw themsleves down and trusts that the column of air will take them up.

Conclusion: Learn to let go and trust in God.

Word of wisdom: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.~Isaiah 40vs 31.

Back to the basics...

2009-01-13T05:57:00.000-08:00

Today was the last day of trading...and although it was just 2 days, I have learnt a lot. Anyway, some background info...trading is part of my retail diploma curriculum whereby we have to do selling. This time round, many of us complained...reason? 12 of us were assigned to just one pushcart and so, most of us had to do direct selling where we carried a basket of the snacks and went around the school, approaching ppl, asking them to buy.

initially, i had no mood to sell. i attribute that to two factors. firstly, we had our hands full with projects. secondly, i was affected by everyone else complaining about how pointless it was such that i totally lost the mood to sell. But i felt rather ashamed of myself when i saw how my fren maintained good cheer and motivated all of us to hit a certain target. it was because of her spurring that we managed to hit a record sales figure.

Well, it was from her that i was reminded of one basic principle that i was taught years back, and that was to give my best in all that i do. it may seem pointless and like a waste of time, but if we can do nothing to change the situation, then we can only make the best out of it!

2009-01-13T05:20:00.000-08:00

I recently chanced upon a quote, it says:

'The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be. '
~ Oprah Winfrey

Well, it reminded me of the why God created me and what I am on earth for. The earth is not my home...definitely not the place of my permanent residence....Life here is but a hundred plus years at most...what happens after that? I wonder if anyone actually thinks and ponders about such questions.

~The purpose driven life ~ -Rick Warren-

ppl in need...

2009-01-06T05:50:00.001-08:00

Just today morning, my mom came into my room and we had one of those heart-to-heart chats we normally had and she told me that she came across an article that day that caused her to cry. It was about this 10 year old austic boy in singapore...he had long hair and his parents were divorced and he lived with his mother. They were very poor and the boy will always ask people for food(he dosen't beg)....hence, the neighbours living around the area knows him and call him ah boy. His mother suffers from depression and many at times, she will lock her son out of the house and so, the boy will end up sleeping downstairs during the night. He was a very sensible boy and will also prepare food and place it at the entrance of the door of his house for his mother to eat.
One fine day, as usual, the boy was locked out and so, he slept downstairs and this was brought to the police attention. So the police came to take a look and beng scared of the police, he ran away from the police and next thing that happened was, he fell off the building while running away from the police and was found dead. Tears rolled down my mother's eyes as she spoke...deep in my heart, I was very sad...why did the boy's life end this way? He's life was already so miserable and this is the way it ends? Well, happy endings belong in fantasies and fantasy, is a far-fetch from reality.
The boy has been living in that neighbourhood for so long...did'nt any of his neighbours bothered to ask him why he was sleeping downstairs? or showed concern about his life? if they had bothered to find out and extend a helping hand, perhaps his life would not have to end like this. Dear friends, have we been too caught up with our lives that we forget those who are suffering around us? are there ppl around you whom you know needs help? many of those old ppl we often see working in the coffee shop or hanging downstairs our HDB flats, have you tried asking them about thier lives? you might be surprised by what they can tell you! so, start showing some concern about those around you!

2009-01-04T22:04:00.000-08:00

Haven blogged in quite a while...super busy these days...did not sleep till 7 this morning...thank God that I'm still energetic. Project mate just called...gotta go and discuss project liao.

Dear God, pls help me keep the smile on my face :) I live for you!

Insecurity>>>>

2008-12-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

I decided to blog on this because recently, I've discovered how insecure I really am. In today's world everything is changing...the economy is now in recession...it happened so fast. Just heard the news that a billionaire commited suicide because he lost 1.3 billion US dollars. Can money truly offer a sense of security? In times like this where the economy is unstable, no one knows for sure what's gonna happen...

Many would choose to place their security in people such as their family(husband/wife/children) and friends. I am one such person. I place my security in my family because they are the ppl who will be there for me and who i can count on in my times of need. But I know I can't count on them 4eva. I am also insecure in a sense that, I constantly need assurance from ppl. In whatever I do, I seek after ppl's approval. (hope to correct that) People change too... things have gotten so complicated in today's world. Divorce rates are all time high, making it hard for ppl to place their security in their marriage or spouse. Elderly being sent by their children to the old-folks home, can't place security in their own kids either.

As a result, I have decided to place my security in God. As the Bible records, God is the same yesterday, today, tomoro and forever...He does not change...and I know that I can count on Him to be there for me always.

Projects and friends...

2008-12-23T02:17:00.001-08:00

There are somethings that I find difficult to say...somethings in my heart that I want some frens to know but there seems to be no opportune time for it, and so I can only blog. Its on the topic of doing projects.

During year 1 of poly life, I was the project leader for almost all subjects (mainly cause no one wans to be it). I badly wanted to get into uni and I knew how hard it was...if the projects do not get at least a B+ on average, my chances would be gone. So I pressured my group a lot and for most of the projects, I would do most of the work. Reason? Not because I was hardworking but rather, I did not trust that my group members had the ability to produce quality work and had this perception that I was always right. Yep...that was me...very jia lat right? So, I would not consult my group members before editing their work and neither did I try to tell them what I've edited or why I did so. As a result, they only knew little of what I had done or what I was doing.

Just a few days ago, I was just telling Michelle (one of my group members then) how sad I was that time when after I did so much work, spent so many nights working and editing the projects, putting in so much effort and one of my other group members comes to me and asks me what have I been doing....From the way I saw it, they thought I was not doing anything. Michelle told me that actually back then, she had also wanted to ask me the same question, because she really did not know what I was doing with the projects. I went 'solo' most of the times.

I was elated when our projects scored well but deep in my heart, I knew I had failed as a group leader. I did not lead my group along and had not earned their respect. It was then I told myself,

I wanted more than just the end result, I want to ensure that I pull my group members along and together, we will make the mark. To work as a group, is not easy...each and everyone has their own opinions and each has different style of communication. Some are more influential and opinionated, they are the 'leaders' in the group. And some will just follow and do what they are told. It was my goal, that before I graduate, I wanna be able to sort of "master the art" of how to be a good leader.

Well, after many semesters of practice, it has come to this final semester and although I still feel I am not perfect, but at least I know I've improved. I once had a group mate who trusted me with a portion of a project and because time was lacking, he did not look at it and just believed that I could get the job done. It turned out that I did not fare as well but he did not show any form of dissatisfaction and simply explained where I had gone wrong. It was not because he did not care about his grades being affected but rather, he cared more about his friends.

I reflected on it and I knew that I was selfish. I had only cared about my grades being affected and did not care about the frens I was working with. Right now, I am trying to change. If my group members has difficulty doing his or her part of the project, I wanna help them and guide them through and not edit and do their work for them. I dun wanna pressure but I wanna encourage and edge them on to meet the mark. Talk is easy, but I will try my best.

To all my poly frens, last semester already...its gonna be very rush... even frustrating as the datelines get closer. The eventual result is important...but so is the process of achieving it. So, get the process right!

You're the air that I breathe>>>

2008-12-20T19:20:00.000-08:00

Today Ps Yang spoke on an issue that I felt convicted of. Most of the time, we often use God's name anyhow without thinking, using God's name in vain...The most common, 'OMG' is used by lots of ppl today and it has become part of our language and vocabulary. But do we actually think of what we are saying? By doing that we're putting the name of the God who created the whole earth, the God who created the universe, the God who created you and me, behind an exclamation mark. I believe it is important for us to watch our tongue rather than just saying whatever we feel like saying. Talking nonsense is pointless. The mouth is the most powerful tool...it can build a person up or tear a person down. It can choose to speak life or death.

Our mouth expresses what is in our heart and so, I am determined to be careful with my words.

I was also convicted to avoid watching movies that curse, swear or joke using the name of Jesus. Why should I pay to watch ppl making fun of the Lord whom I love? Although that would mean most movies, so let it be then.

I learnt another thing during the sermon today. God has a name. We all have names right? We are not named 'human beings'. God's name is Yaweh. But the actual hebrew word as found in the old testement is Yhvh...(go check it out on the internet by typing yaweh) . It is pronounced as Yord-Hay-Vah-Hay. What does the name mean? Ancient writers of the past have attributed the pronounciation to the sound of breathing. Yord........Hay..........Vah......Hay........

Each time we breathe, we call out God's name!

Once a friend mentioned that: 'If life were a dance floor, God would be the DJ.' This is what the world is saying. However, I beg to differ....My reply to him was: ' God is the air I breathe!' God is our creator...the one who gave us life, without Him, what are we? The stars that twinkle, the birds that sings, the trees that sway, the waves that roar...all speak of how great God is. The way we were created cannot be more perfect...from the heart that pumps, to the smallest cell in our body. Even our very breath calls out His name! To God be the Glory!

16 Nov...

2008-12-17T02:09:00.000-08:00

Today I had great fun! My mom got some kids over to our house for lunch...all of them were from Poi Ching Primary and I have taught in some of their classes before as their relief teacher. We played games and I kept forfeiting...

My forfeit>>>>

Jovin's forfeit>>>>>WEAR_THE_WIG

Sisters!First up>>> Germaine! Class 4J year 2008>>>>Megan, Class 3F 2008>>>

TianYu>>>>and his brother TianRen>>>Nicole and Germaine>>>>Class 4J

Jovin Siew!>>>>Class5G 2008

Long time buddies!>>>>

To Jovin and Germaine who reads my blog: Love you both!>>>Anytime you're bored and need someone to talk to, call me k? I'll catch up with both of you soon and might see you in school too. Dun forget to spend time with God ok? He hears your prayers! Also, remember what the true meaning of Christmas is and spread God's love to your friends. Take care and God Bless!

Time to reflect>>>>

2008-12-09T01:43:00.000-08:00

In this blog, I reflect a lot as you can see. Well, I learned that from a friend who felt that a day is wasted without reflecting and would ponder every night before sleeping on what took place during the day.

Just last Sunday at badminton, Trudy and I teamed up against my mom and auntie jade. And for each point that we lost, she would evaluate and tell me what the mistake was and how to overcome it. This went on for 3 games and I was thinking to myself, ' its oni a game wat, so what if we lose?'. Haha...it did not matter to me whether i won or lost...i was not gonna participate in some badminton tornament in the future anyway, so why take it seriously?

Well, i did not think much of it but today, Uncle Sam, one of our tutors was mentioning about how competitive the chinese from China were and quoted one incident where he happened to be challenging them to see whose paper planes could fly the furthest. He told us that they would actually evaluate each 'flight' to see how they can improve and what changes should be made in order for the plane to fly further.

My initial reaction was, :'My goodness, its just a game! Dun these ppl know how to enjoy at all?' Haha...but i started to ponder and came to a conclusion that, this is probably the kind of ppl that will see success in life. Cause they possess a learning attitude and constantly seek to improve themselves in every situation. They learn quick from their mistakes and determine not to make them again. Unfortunately, I'm not like that at all...my piano teacher had to keep circling the notes which i played wrong and still, I did not change and correct the mistake. Kinda stubborn rite?....haha...that's me and my 'can't be bothered' attitude.

Well, i've got to change and start to buck up. Potential is in each and everyone of us and i wanna maximise mine for God.

2008-12-03T06:08:00.000-08:00

Well, so far things have been hectic, but i thank God that He is guiding me through. The day i came back, I saw for myself how my brothers have matured and started to take on more responsibilities. Haiz...they have left for nepal and will be gone 18 days...its gonna get kinda quiet in the house. After meeting with my bff yesterday, I could see that she has matured...from the way she speaks, I felt that she was no longer a over-sensitive gal anymore but has learnt to take many things in her stride. The gal i tuitioned previously has grown up too...no longer does she call me so many times a day and she starts to talk to me in a more 'grown up' manner, unlike her previously childish behaviour. Not to mention my parents...who were previously not ready to 'let me go', have now learnt to let me lead my own life, trusting that i can decide the path to take.

During this period, many things have changed...and for me, I have my heart-set on certain things:

1. I am not gonna mince my words anymore.

Many a times, I feel like a hyprocrite...saying things i dun mean just to pls people...telling them what they wish to hear. Well, i feel this is selfish of me...I dun have many frens and so, my mentality was this: 'In order to keep our friendship going, I dare not offend you for fear of losing you as a friend.' ... This should not be the case...If I truly care for you, I'll want the best for you...even if you dun like it. So, I will just tell you things straight to your face...it certainly beats backstabbing. To all my frens out there, pls understand this and trust that I care very much for you. Don't you ever doubt that...

2. I am gonna put those in need first.

Just heard from Pastor Daniel that when he tried to sent some of us to visit old folks home during this christmas season, its full house. Well, glad to know...but whatabout the other times of the year? Why do we only remember those in need during christmas? I'm guilty of that. I think for myself more than for others. So for this year's christmas, I want to bless the less fortunate first, then followed by my friends. So to those who feels offended by me not giving you a present, well...don't. You're all very blessed. there are others who need it more.

Haha...for me, I still feel its very hard to let go of all that has happened in Shanghai. I've learnt a lot and enjoyed myself so much there that it is now really hard to adapt back. It all seems like a dream and now, its time to wake up. I thank God for all that He has done for me and now, I wanna get back to serve him.

End of Osip

2008-11-27T06:10:00.001-08:00

Finally I have headed back to my sunny island. haha...feel kinda lost but nonetheless, will quickly readapt. I could have choosen to emo about leaving but I decided it was pointless. I will surely miss the place and the memories shared there. but now, its time to move on...my heart was rather saddened when I saw how hard it was for some of us to part with our collegues. It was painful. 2 and a half months ago, we had to part with our families. We all decided to venture abroad and left our comfort zones to face this world and now, we return as true champions, surpassing our psychological, emotional and even physical barriers. I have yet to let go....its really hard, but i have to. All that has happened there, will and can only stay as a memory for me...and that's the way its gonna be.

Its all over now...

2008-11-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

I am really tired of all this...its time to get back where I belong. After an official 2 and 1/2 months of spiritual drainage, I declare myself offically burned out. I need to go back to church and fellowship with the saints. I thank God for sending me here and guiding me through the whole time...I've really learnt a lot and now its time to get back and put it into practice. I really wanna see how far I can go with what I learnt here...Is it just a temporary thing where it goes off after a while? Or is it something of pemernance? This is the question burning in my heart for the past few days and I really dun know yet because I'm still here...and this is not my 'battleground' ... its at home.

But one conclusion I came to was that, I can no longer be that 'family girl' that I was. In the past, I was like a bird in a nest where I had everything I needed and I could stay 'comfortable'. Without me realising, they became the world to me and my identity was also formed that way. I never really did consider myself as a separate 'individual' because I always felt my life is not my own, but my family's as well. And so, lots of decisions I make are family-based and I became rather indecisive and disliked making decisions because I did not want to be responsible for my own life. But now, I got to fly out of the 'nest'...I've to grow up and face the world on my own no matter how tough it may be and learn to decide for myself as well to be responsible for it.

Well, my family is still my obligation and priority...that's not gonna change. Haha...but now, its time to for me to 'soar' into all God has for me.

With the little I have, I give it all. >>>>

2008-11-11T21:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I learnt yet another valuable lesson. I heard that my best friend in primary school has finished his ITE and has now gone into Nanyang Poly. It truly warmed my heart to hear the news...I remembered both he and I got into the same primary 3 class... it was the last class. He was there because he was a slow learner by nature (and I was there cause I was playful and just plain lazy) And so at primary 5, he was streamed into EM3 followed by normal tech and then ITE. The thing I admired most about him, was his sensibility (很懂事）. His family survives on little and life was rather hard for them as his parents dun earn much...mum works at a foodstall ( i can't remember what the dad works as) but their income feeds 6 mouths back home.

I remembered just this year, I was late for church cell group and went to grab a bite at Macs at TM...I looked at the menu hurriedly but looked up when I heard my name being called...and there he was behind the counter...smiling and ready to take my order.

Thinking about it, I really feel very very ashamed of myself...I cannot hold a candle to him. I knew that he was not smart to start with, but when my mom told me that he really worked his guts out in ITE and finally got into poly, my heart just leaped with joy...I knew it did not come easy and that he had truly maximised his potential. With the little he had, he gave it all. I felt ashamed of myself...because I knew at that moment, I was just a pack of lazy bones... playful and unwilling to push myself to achieve greater.

Hongyi and I were chatting one night and he mentioned something that sort of hit me. He said some thing like: 'Each time we get too comfortable, its time to get out of that comfort zone.' I fully agree. Successful people do not allow themselves to stay stagnated but constantly puts themselves in environments of change and challenge. They are not satisfied with their current achievements but seeks after greater things and hence, they progress and moves on in life till they have maximised their fullest potential. I was too 'comfortable' with what I had achieved and never actually thought that I had much more in me. To summarize, I was just plain lazy...Hence, I have to change... because a true sense of achievement only comes when you have stepped into battle zone and fought your best fight!

~I'm giving all I've got~

Playing office politics>>>>>

2008-11-09T22:42:00.000-08:00

The key to playing office politics well is this: Be as shrewd/wise as serpents and as innocent as doves. (Mat 10:16)

Taking Sides

Serpants are constantly on the alert and are aware of their surroundings, hence, when you are a newbie in a company, be quick to pick up and get wind of what is going on. This can be done by observing your collegues, hearing what they say and observing how they behave. You may discover at times, that your collegues are not gelling with a particular person or are split up into 2 social groups, in cases like this, you may have to decide which side to take. There are seldom cases whereby one can have the 'best of both worlds' or take on a neutral stand if one were to work long-term in the same company.

Sucking up to Boss

This can get really tricky. At times, the slightest thing you do for your boss can caused you to be mis-judged by your collegues. Hence, always beware of your actions. Do not do anything 'extra' for your boss of which your collegues do not do at work. If you want to appreciate your boss, do it privately away from judgmental eyes and on a more personal basis unassociated with work. The best thing is to get your collegues involved. If you really want your boss to take note of you and hope to get in his good books, your work achievements will certainly speak more volume.

Excelling at work

This is the worse of all and in many instances, unpreventable. When you are a bit more hardworking than the rest, excelling at work, and the boss commends you, ppl will start to be jealous of you and hence, find ways and means to 'pull' you down. Most times, this cannot be prevented but the most one can do, is to be possess a spirit of humility, innocence and sincerity. Being humble means not claiming credit for your effort but constantly recognizing the effort of others. When your boss praise you, always give credit to those who have helped you accomplish your task. Also carry a heart of innocence...do not scheme or talk behind the back of others but be open about your opinions and views. And last but not least, always be sincere...mean what you say and say what you mean...do not be a hyprocrite that acts one-way in front of the boss and acts another way in front of others. You will lose respect. Always be sincere...In this way, ppl can see that you sincerely want to help contribute to the company's growth and have no hidden agenda or self-seeking intentions.

Conclusion

Being innocent is always good, but in the process, do not be completely ignorant and unaware of these office politics at play. Hence, be as shrewd as serpants but as innocent as doves. Always remember, innocence cannot be acted out, it is in-built in us and if we are really innocent, our body language, our speech and our behaviour will show.

Suzhou>>>>Weekend 7

2008-11-09T20:41:00.000-08:00

Jasmine, Hongyi and I took a train to Suzhou on sat at 6pm and ate KFC on the way, the rest were to join us the next day>>>> Jasmine and I >>>>>

When we got off the train, we took a cab to guang quan jie and had some cheap thrills for entertainment>>>>>we played this and we were given 5 bean-bag throws for $1 sing. Hit the dog and its yours to keep.

We played basketball too>>>>that's me by the way>>>>We did some sight-seeing too!>>>>>

After that>>>>eat lah, what else!>>>>

Hongyi ordering>>>>>There are many guitarists going around and asking people to select songs from their list and they will play but you gotta pay.
The food we ordered>>>>>

First up....dazhaxie

Prawns>>>>

Drunken live prawns still hoping around and about to die of heat!!!

Not enough? There's always more to eat!

The next morning, we woke up and went to meet up with the rest who took the morning train and just arrived in Suzhou>>>>>>

Roseann and Pohsuan>>>>> Sean and our beloved Chang-er! (xue er)We went to eat egg fried rice together after that>>>>>

We also did a bit of shopping near this temple after that>>>> Sean the warrior>>>>
Flying candy floss>>>>is there such thing in Sg?

We later paid an entrance fee and got into this beautiful fortress (used to prevent enemies from entering) Anyway, have a look at some of the scenery>>>>

We got into a boat as well and watched an opera show>>>>>>
Some group pics we took>>>>>

Haha>>>>>dinner at a korean restaurant was next on the list>>>>

We went outside later to enjoy the night view and released kong ming teng>>>>>each one of us realeased ours. This is mine.

Many were staring at us as we wrote>>>>>

To those of you who can't see, this is what I wrote:'Dear God, I pray that we will all still remain as very good friends even after we get back to Sg.'Looking out into the sky, my heart was filled with sudden gratitude towards God and I felt really blessed. Who could ask for more? All of us came from different walks of life...yet God brought all of us together to share this very special bond. Each of us carried different expectations here, different dreams...but with one purpose: a hope for a better future. We have left our comfort zones and have flown from our nests to see the world in which we live. And here we are... seeing things we had not seen b4, exploring what was unknown to us. And when we return, life for us will no longer be viewed with a narrow perspective but rather, with a global mindset. The END!

Ps: I must credit Jasmine for taking such a beautiful pic...thanks gal!