I recently chanced upon a quote, it says:

'The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be. '
~ Oprah Winfrey

Well, it reminded me of the why God created me and what I am on earth for. The earth is not my home...definitely not the place of my permanent residence....Life here is but a hundred plus years at most...what happens after that? I wonder if anyone actually thinks and ponders about such questions.

~The purpose driven life ~ -Rick Warren-

ppl in need...

Just today morning, my mom came into my room and we had one of those heart-to-heart chats we normally had and she told me that she came across an article that day that caused her to cry. It was about this 10 year old austic boy in singapore...he had long hair and his parents were divorced and he lived with his mother. They were very poor and the boy will always ask people for food(he dosen't beg)....hence, the neighbours living around the area knows him and call him ah boy. His mother suffers from depression and many at times, she will lock her son out of the house and so, the boy will end up sleeping downstairs during the night. He was a very sensible boy and will also prepare food and place it at the entrance of the door of his house for his mother to eat.
One fine day, as usual, the boy was locked out and so, he slept downstairs and this was brought to the police attention. So the police came to take a look and beng scared of the police, he ran away from the police and next thing that happened was, he fell off the building while running away from the police and was found dead. Tears rolled down my mother's eyes as she spoke...deep in my heart, I was very sad...why did the boy's life end this way? He's life was already so miserable and this is the way it ends? Well, happy endings belong in fantasies and fantasy, is a far-fetch from reality.
The boy has been living in that neighbourhood for so long...did'nt any of his neighbours bothered to ask him why he was sleeping downstairs? or showed concern about his life? if they had bothered to find out and extend a helping hand, perhaps his life would not have to end like this. Dear friends, have we been too caught up with our lives that we forget those who are suffering around us? are there ppl around you whom you know needs help? many of those old ppl we often see working in the coffee shop or hanging downstairs our HDB flats, have you tried asking them about thier lives? you might be surprised by what they can tell you! so, start showing some concern about those around you!

Haven blogged in quite a while...super busy these days...did not sleep till 7 this morning...thank God that I'm still energetic. Project mate just called...gotta go and discuss project liao.

Dear God, pls help me keep the smile on my face :) I live for you!

Insecurity>>>>

I decided to blog on this because recently, I've discovered how insecure I really am. In today's world everything is changing...the economy is now in recession...it happened so fast. Just heard the news that a billionaire commited suicide because he lost 1.3 billion US dollars. Can money truly offer a sense of security? In times like this where the economy is unstable, no one knows for sure what's gonna happen...

Many would choose to place their security in people such as their family(husband/wife/children) and friends. I am one such person. I place my security in my family because they are the ppl who will be there for me and who i can count on in my times of need. But I know I can't count on them 4eva. I am also insecure in a sense that, I constantly need assurance from ppl. In whatever I do, I seek after ppl's approval. (hope to correct that) People change too... things have gotten so complicated in today's world. Divorce rates are all time high, making it hard for ppl to place their security in their marriage or spouse. Elderly being sent by their children to the old-folks home, can't place security in their own kids either.

As a result, I have decided to place my security in God. As the Bible records, God is the same yesterday, today, tomoro and forever...He does not change...and I know that I can count on Him to be there for me always.

Projects and friends...

There are somethings that I find difficult to say...somethings in my heart that I want some frens to know but there seems to be no opportune time for it, and so I can only blog. Its on the topic of doing projects.

During year 1 of poly life, I was the project leader for almost all subjects (mainly cause no one wans to be it). I badly wanted to get into uni and I knew how hard it was...if the projects do not get at least a B+ on average, my chances would be gone. So I pressured my group a lot and for most of the projects, I would do most of the work. Reason? Not because I was hardworking but rather, I did not trust that my group members had the ability to produce quality work and had this perception that I was always right. Yep...that was me...very jia lat right? So, I would not consult my group members before editing their work and neither did I try to tell them what I've edited or why I did so. As a result, they only knew little of what I had done or what I was doing.

Just a few days ago, I was just telling Michelle (one of my group members then) how sad I was that time when after I did so much work, spent so many nights working and editing the projects, putting in so much effort and one of my other group members comes to me and asks me what have I been doing....From the way I saw it, they thought I was not doing anything. Michelle told me that actually back then, she had also wanted to ask me the same question, because she really did not know what I was doing with the projects. I went 'solo' most of the times.

I was elated when our projects scored well but deep in my heart, I knew I had failed as a group leader. I did not lead my group along and had not earned their respect. It was then I told myself,

I wanted more than just the end result, I want to ensure that I pull my group members along and together, we will make the mark. To work as a group, is not easy...each and everyone has their own opinions and each has different style of communication. Some are more influential and opinionated, they are the 'leaders' in the group. And some will just follow and do what they are told. It was my goal, that before I graduate, I wanna be able to sort of "master the art" of how to be a good leader.

Well, after many semesters of practice, it has come to this final semester and although I still feel I am not perfect, but at least I know I've improved. I once had a group mate who trusted me with a portion of a project and because time was lacking, he did not look at it and just believed that I could get the job done. It turned out that I did not fare as well but he did not show any form of dissatisfaction and simply explained where I had gone wrong. It was not because he did not care about his grades being affected but rather, he cared more about his friends.

I reflected on it and I knew that I was selfish. I had only cared about my grades being affected and did not care about the frens I was working with. Right now, I am trying to change. If my group members has difficulty doing his or her part of the project, I wanna help them and guide them through and not edit and do their work for them. I dun wanna pressure but I wanna encourage and edge them on to meet the mark. Talk is easy, but I will try my best.

To all my poly frens, last semester already...its gonna be very rush... even frustrating as the datelines get closer. The eventual result is important...but so is the process of achieving it. So, get the process right!