The changes in me...

Each time I think of the fact that I am going back to SG in about 20+ days, I will start to ponder over this question: 'What will become of me when i get back?' Well, to be honest, I dun have an answer to that...I have changed from who I was b4 I came here and its for the better, not the worst. But, I will have to make effort to ensure that I do not revert back to my old lifestyle and habits. Here are some changes:

1) Image>>>

I have 2 fantastic image consultants named Hongyi and Siqian and they made me see that maintaining a good image and carrying yourself well can really help you to feel good and also affect people's impression of you...especially when you are in the business line. In my poly, I have 'branded' myself in a way such that people's impression of me is not who I am by nature and they only end up seeing one side of me. haha...hope to change that!

2) Television>>>

Nowadays, I seldom watch TV...thanks to hanging around too much with Hongyi who feels watching TV is a waste of time, now I feel the same way. I have spent too much time watching dramas in the past that I do not have the time to learn more about what is going on around me and hence, I am rather ignorant towards many issues.

3) Home-Girl>>>

I am the sort who enjoys staying at home and slacking away most of the time and once again, thanks to Hongyi, I have changed. I discovered that I stay at home too much and do not go out often enough to observe and see what goes on outside. Perhaps it is because I do not have many friends to start with...usually after school, I head home and do not spend time chatting. (I dun even go often on msn) Hence, I have not mastered the art of communication and can offend ppl unknowingly sometimes...haha, but I'm gettin the hang of it now.

4) Learning method>>>

I credit my cousin, Winston for this, he said something that really sort of hit me and I have decided to change the way I learn from now on. In the past, I learned the 'textbook' way. Read, understand and apply...but he mentioned that if that is the case, then the company that is hiring you, might as well buy a textbook...This statement hit me and I thought that was quite true. What different am I from a textbook? That is the problem with the Singapore education system I guess, we just remember what the textbook says and regurgitate it out on our exam papers and after the exam, we forget what we were taught and return it back to our teachers. haha...its quite a waste. So, the next question he posted me was:' What is my competitve advantage?' Well, 'I have none' was the reply I had in my head.

I have learnt that some things, you can't learn from textbooks but rather, your observations and your general knowlege comes into play. At work here, I have realised how ignorant I am about things...especially when I compare myself with Hongyi, he reads a lot, very observant and explores many places...and so, I have to change my 'heck care' attitude or else, I can't be trusted with more important/difficult tasks as I do not have the capacity to start with. I need to 'expand' myself to contain more...

Before I continue on, I must apologize to my mother first...beacuse all the 4 lessons I have mentioned above, she has told me countless times to change! She always tells me to look after my image by carrying myself well...and also nagged at me countless times to stop watching too much TV, read more, be more observant and encourages me to go out with friends rather than stay home all the time. But it never hit me and I never saw the value of the things she said till I came here and I started to wake up. Sorry MUM!

5) Money-oriented>>>

I am a rather calculative person especially with regards to money. Reason? Its because I dun have many of that and that is what I need to go into uni, get my driving license, etc etc. Sadly, money is what drives today's society...But I feel that we should be in control of money and not let money control us. We should not just work for money but money should work for us instead. Always easier said than done... my family is good at saving cash (because we have understood what hand-to-mouth means) and a lot of times, we oni spend on the things we need (which i believe is important). But the problem comes when we become too money-oriented and in almost everthing we do, the 'M' word does not escape us. In almost every decision I make, I will consider $ and I have decided to change that...I will spend within my means and purchase what I need, that's it!

More importantly, I will have to find ways to earn my keep and not be lazy. Down here, I have learnt that successful people who thinks big as well as long-term, their method of earning money is to find ways to use the money they have to invest and earn. Those who think small and short-term, will find ways to scrimp and save every cent. I followed the second method previously and now I am shifting to the first. (Its Bibical too!)

Recently while reading the Bible, Psalms, I am also convicted not to place my security in money but in God instead, especially during this period of pre-recession.

6) Overseas

There is another question(stimulated by Winston) that me and Si Qian were discussing about one day while we were on our way to buy groceries. The question was: ' If ever in the future, we were given a choice to work here long-term(when the job prospect offered is good and salary is high), would we?'. Her answer was Yes. For me, if you had posted this question to me before I arrived here, my answer would be a 'No' without any hestiation. But now, I am getting used to this and I have learnt how to work independantly overseas. So my reply to Siqian was: ' If God really wants me to be here long-term, I am willing.' I base my decision on God's will for me and not the job prospects of the salary given.

Conclusion

My decision to come here was also based on God's will, not my own intention. I am too family-oriented and if I had followed my intention, I would not be here. But I took a step of faith and trusted that God has a plan and purpose for me here in Shanghai. And now, I know I would have seriously regretted not coming here...I would have missed out way too much. The lessons that I have learnt here is way too valuable such that a million can't be compared. (I do not exaggerate when I say so). These lessons have shaped my character and woke me up and some of my 'revelations' include:

1) I am already 19, and if I don't not do some thing about my life now, it will soon be too late to realize how many years I have wasted away.

2) I wanna be a teacher and in order to be a good teacher, I cannot afford to miss out on too many life's experiences but must constantly have a learning attitude and an open mind to see things. I do not want to just teach subjects from textbooks, but I wanna instill in our next generation a good value system as well as a right attitude and mindset towards life. I wanna shape character that is geared to succeed.

~Word-of wisdom by King Solomen: Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.