I am really tired of all this...its time to get back where I belong. After an official 2 and 1/2 months of spiritual drainage, I declare myself offically burned out. I need to go back to church and fellowship with the saints. I thank God for sending me here and guiding me through the whole time...I've really learnt a lot and now its time to get back and put it into practice. I really wanna see how far I can go with what I learnt here...Is it just a temporary thing where it goes off after a while? Or is it something of pemernance? This is the question burning in my heart for the past few days and I really dun know yet because I'm still here...and this is not my 'battleground' ... its at home.
But one conclusion I came to was that, I can no longer be that 'family girl' that I was. In the past, I was like a bird in a nest where I had everything I needed and I could stay 'comfortable'. Without me realising, they became the world to me and my identity was also formed that way. I never really did consider myself as a separate 'individual' because I always felt my life is not my own, but my family's as well. And so, lots of decisions I make are family-based and I became rather indecisive and disliked making decisions because I did not want to be responsible for my own life. But now, I got to fly out of the 'nest'...I've to grow up and face the world on my own no matter how tough it may be and learn to decide for myself as well to be responsible for it.
Well, my family is still my obligation and priority...that's not gonna change. Haha...but now, its time to for me to 'soar' into all God has for me.
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